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Let me start by introducing myself, I have 3 young children, I’m a “stay at home mum”, “housewife”, “lucky bitch”, however you want to describe it, I’m not easily perturbed! But it’s not all as hunky dory as one might envisage.
After the mammoth task of waking my little darlings (at least 5 attempts), making various breakfasts because it would it be too easy if they all ate the same, packed lunches prepared, looking for uniforms whilst listening to; “Mum, where are my school trousers?” (Look in the pile of screwed up clothes on your bedroom floor!)
“Mum, have I a clean shirt?” (Look in your drawer!)
“Mum, I can’t find any socks” (Don’t get me started on frigging socks), its time to round up the troops, get them to their three different schools, whilst having a barrage of last minute requests…. Ingredients required for Food tech that morning, reading records signed, cheques for school trips. Why my children can not give me notice for these, I’m not sure if they do it as a wind up or if they are just evil.
Once the kids are dropped off at school, its then time to start my other job of clearing up the remains of the shit storm that has just occurred. Washing, ironing, cleaning… blah, blah, blah.
My point here is, yes, I’m fortunate that I don’t have to work.Yes, I get to do the school runs and yes, I get to spend optimal amount of time with my kids. But I must factor in time for myself. And what I mean by this is, as soon as my chores are mostly completed, (or not, who am I kidding?!) and the coast is clear, I retreat to my bedroom. I pull the blinds, kick the dog off my bed and settle down for some “me” time.
In my bedside drawers, I have what I can only describe as enough “play” items to stock my own sex shop. What shall I choose? My 7th Heaven Platinum G-spot vibrator? Or the mighty 9-inch double penetrator? Or maybe I’ll just focus on my bean and use my Clitorial hummer vibrator. I have an assortment of vibrators, from purple to black, from hard to floppy, some are smooth, others are dimpled and its this variation that gets my rocks off. No one wants the same old shit, that’s what our husbands are for!
We all need our down time, for some its curling up on the sofa, relaxing with a hot tea and a good book. Whilst others may prefer long walks in the country, being at one with nature. But for me, it’s a bit of both, relaxing (on my bed) and being at one (with myself).
So, with this in mind, I begin my journey of unadulterated bliss, no interruptions when I’m on the brink of ecstasy with “Mum, the internets not working”, no having to withdraw and frantically hide my buzzing vibrator under my pillows when one of the kids decides to walk in to ask if they can have a drink.
Its my time, I deserved it, I’ve bloody well earnt it! And its these 10 minutes in a day that keep me sane, and ready to resume with the relentless activities that come hand in hand with being a “stay at home mum”.
Have fun ladies, a happy mum, makes for a happy home!!!